I can't believe it's 2011...

You know, even when it was New Years Eve, it didn't feel like a new year. Even now it doesn't feel like a new year, and I don't know why. I didn't think about all the things I hope to come in the new year on New Years Eve, like I have so many years before. Mostly because I've learn a lesson this past year about thinking and looking too far into the future. The Lord has shown me that it doesn't do anything, but harm me. Now, I'm not saying that I don't think about the future or wonder what it'll be like, I think about it often, but I'm not going to wonder if those things I look forward too and desire are going to happen in this year. Mostly because on New Years Eve when I look back on the year past, I get disappointed because things didn't happen the way "I" thought they should have by then. And that's wrong because the Lord has a plan for me beyond my wildest dreams and I have got to just trust Him and believe that He knows what's best for me. It's not easy and there are days that I throw a temper tantrum because He hasn't given me what I want but He just sits back and waits til I'm done. If he had given me what I wanted, when I wanted, it would have done more harm to me then good. I couldn't see that at the time, but He has shown me that more and more lately. He knew that if I had been able to be in a relationship with the person that I thought "I just couldn't live without" that I might have ended up in a horrible marriage and later divorced with children that would have been stuck in the middle, only because, I just couldn't wait. I couldn't be patieint. I couldn't find my value in HIM. He's shown me that if I really trust Him and BELIEVE in Him AND His plan for me, that He's going to give me a man who is totally in love with Him and that will be all that I want and more in a husband. We will meet eventually, and for right now, I'm perfectly fine with being 'single'. I'm perfectly fine with learning all I can about the amazing Lover of my Soul. He is showing me that my value and significance comes from Him. As for my future marriage, one of us isn't ready yet. When we are ready to be together, we will be. I can't wait til that day. But for now I am stoked to be totally and irrevocably in love with my Savior!